Emotions

Excitement: Attending a meeting about people who want to return to Old Mampujan. Perhaps, just perhaps, now is the time!

Frustration: I have an ambiguous role in this community and am never quite sure how I fit in or what I am supposed to be doing, or how. Accompaniment is a very fluid job description. Plus, the community leaders who I work with are very busy and Mampujan is in a constant state of change. Sometimes it seems like my main job is waiting out the chaos and that can be frustrating.

Victory: I finally figured out punctuality here! They told me we were leaving to go to the creek at 6:00 am. I got up at 7:30, ate breakfast, drank coffee, gathered my things and walked out the door at 8:30, just in time to hop on the leaving bus.

Fear: Visited Larisa to take pictures for a march her community is planning where the majority of the photo taking consisted of riding motorcycles up and down very steep hills. The lack of transit-able roads is part of why they are marching and I have now experienced it first hand. However, ever since my accident, I have not enjoyed motorcycles, so it was a bit scary, even if we did end up walking a lot of the time.

Boredom: Waiting all day for the power to come back on so I can finish a job on the computer.

Amazement: People who live in the rural areas can just look over a hillside and identify everything that is growing, and in what stage, while to me, it just looks like a bunch of green. There are so many different ways of understanding and viewing the world.

Sadness: Being at the creek in Old Mampujan and listening to the older people talk about where they came from, and then hearing the younger people telling the stories that they have only heard, never experienced, and then forgetting the names of the creeks all around them. Cultural shift is inevitable, but cultural loss is still sad.

Confusion: Trying to organize a survey of 85 families to be undertaken in a structured way, as well as figuring out what questions really are important to include.

Annoyance: To much yelling during a church service. There is a strong mentality that if something is important, in order to be convincing, it must be said as loudly and as convincingly as possible. I usually don’t become convinced, however, just annoyed.

Helplessness: Some of my friends, who are also people I work with, are going through a difficult time in their marriage and I can’t fix it, nor is it my job to fix it. Still, I don’t know what to do or how to help.

Joyful: Butternut squash spinach soup and friends; planning where I will live next year.

Amusement: Watching the neighbour kids frantically try to sweep ants out of my doorway, while avoiding getting bitten. Also, sweeping the same ant’s nest outside everyday. Ants are persistent!

Anticipation: Planning our political advocacy trip to Central America! More to come on this subject, and the march in Larisa’s community!